The Difficulty of Nothingness and the Personal Development Problem
For the majority of us, there has been too much time on our hands. Our daily tasks, projects, and routines still leave us with a huge gap of time to use. The self-improvement, personal-development mindset places us in a thought pattern of continuous growth. This is a positive thing, allowing us to reach goals, break through barriers, and become the greatest version of ourselves. Unfortunately, there is a problem associated with this culture, everything dealing with “the grind” and “the hustle”.
This is not to say that grinding and hustling are bad. On the contrary, they are very necessary to reach every level of success. But when this work mode becomes a crutch for evading our personal problems and mental imbalances, it becomes another form of escapism. Activity becomes an excuse for not cultivating a personal interior life, for neglecting prayer and spiritual exercises, and for numbing the pain of the dark night of the soul. This is why we’re so scared of solitude. We have a deep fear of nothingness. No one to text. No work to do. No friends to hang out with. It’s why the weekends and vacation can be some of the most depressing times for us. It is no wonder then that we are addicted to activity. So how are we supposed to deal with this problem? True, you could try to avoid it entirely. There is no shortage of stimulation or distraction to keep you from addressing the emptiness in your heart, but doing so will lead you to realize the emptiness of all you chase far too late. You will be like so many who after leading lives lost in work and business, come to older age, wealthy and ladened with comforts, only to say “Is this really it?”. It is then that many will begin to make the quest of the heart. But there is no reason to wait so long to seek peace. There is no reason to put off the work of the soul that should be addressed now. The perpetual cycle of misery can be lessened by taking the time to be enveloped by nothingness, by silence.
Many of us evade silence because the minute we shut everything off, the noise of our thoughts creep in. All the negativity, fear, and doubt that we have been repressing boil up to the surface. To spend ten minutes alone with these thoughts is terrible, and leaves you feeling worse than when you had first began your attempt at a meditative experience. Like anything, it takes practice to deal with these thoughts, and to begin to accept them. To let them pass through your mind, without worry or judgment. To recognize that you are not your thoughts but the actions that are a consequence of them. We oftentimes treat our thoughts as if they are persons. We hold conversations with them, and the ones we talk to the most influence us the most. We have those negative friends, who tell us we’re worthless and should just give up. We all have those good friends, who lift us up and tell us to keep fighting. Like friends, fighting with them directly only creates more chaos. Ignorance is usually more effective in getting rid of bad ones. We must do our best to treat negativity like the wind, recognizing that it will be there, but letting it pass us like an inconsequential zephyr.
I genuinely believe that overthinking has been a direct result of overstimulation. There is just too much information, knowledge, ideas, and emotions to process. We have significantly more mental baggage than our predecessors. The idea of personal development struggles with this problem. Rather than implementing new ways of living in our lives through action, we get lost in the information. Instead of learning and forging a path to excellence, we use self-development as a way to make us feel better about ourselves. But this is the opposite of how the process should be. The process shouldn’t be the main source of joy, but should stem from it. In this way, obsession over goal completion or impatience will have no hold over us. It will also help improve creativity. The mind needs time to rest and to wander. It needs a break to process information, to come up with innovative ways of addressing problems, and to regather the strength it needs.
So begin slowly. Take more walks in reflective ambivalence. Drink your coffee or tea slower than you usually do, allowing the warmth to heal you. Look around at the beauty around you rather than letting it be a useless background. Everything is an opportunity for meditation, reflection, and a chance to be lost in nothingness. It is by emptying ourselves that we can let the light of goodness enter our hearts.
