On Sympatheia, and How to Experience It
The feeling of being alone is an interesting human emotion marked by either two states: either a feeling of disconnect from others or a feeling of connection to one’s self and the world. To avoid the former and have more experience of the latter, the Stoic idea of Sympatheia can be of great help. According to dailystoic.com, Sympatheia is a feeling of interconnectedness and unity with everything in the universe. It’s a nice thought, but how can we experience it when everything in our mind tells us of our inadequacy, our lack of love, and our worthlessness?
Look at those around you, and see yourself
In my attempt to experience this feeling, I tried as best as possible to see myself in the experience of others. What I mean is that I tried to visualize all of the pains, struggles, and joys that those around me experience that are similar to my own. In this way, I didn’t feel like what I was going through or what insecurities I was facing were anything new: many struggle with these same issues. In this way I grew in sympathy and began to see others less with a lense of distance, but rather one of connection by the same human experience that we all share.
Where there is distrust, leave love and openness
This is a concept that I learned about in David Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man, and is of great help for when you feel insecure, self-conscious, or all together disconnected. The practice he recommends has helped me foster the feeling of Sympatheia. What you do is that whenever you are breathing, you act as if you are taking all of the tension, anxiety, and distrust around you in every inhalation. Visualize what those around you may be going through internally, and take it all in. Then, every time you exhale, visualize spreading love through the atmosphere around you. Leave love where there was any tension or fear. This may sound ridiculous, but I have found that it works. It relieves anxiety, is a great help against insecurities, and takes you out of yourself, providing a great joy.
Understand that Many Will not Understand
In order to not live in fear, I have begun to understand that oftentimes people may not understand your sincerity or openness after being used to so much disconnect. It is harder than ever in our days to even smile at a stranger, have a conversation with someone new, or escape the boundaries of our comfort zone. It is all too easy to look at your phone when you feel insecure, increasing our loneliness. But if you are daring enough to test modern social norms, be willing to laugh at yourself. I have found that this has helped tremendously in my attempts to be more open to others: to look people in the eye, to smile and say hello, and to acknowledge another’s existence. Many people we meet may have a rigid exterior, but with the proper rapport would perhaps open themselves and show you kindness. Do not always take people for face value.
Be around children
Perhaps the easiest way to find Sympatheia is in the presence of children. The glow that makes their face gleam and the radiance that fills their eyes cannot fail to melt most hearts and make you smile. Children make you laugh, and make you reflect on the wonder that you too once experienced. I have found that children can help take you back to this wonder, by their laughter, playfulness, and imagination. See how they trust, how they look to you for guidance, as they have not yet been exposed to the fear of the world, and seek to take from them some of their wisdom.
Serve when possible
Serving others, although taking away from your time and occupations, serves you in the joy that it provides. I have found that many of my thoughts seem fickle and unimportant when brought before the need of another. And it teaches you that your joy shouldn’t be measured by how much people love you, but how much you love people, even in the face of hatred or fear. Maybe that’s what Jesus was trying to show, and why he told his followers to always serve others. It’s truly healing.
Take in the Delirium of Nature
This is something that Ryan Holiday talks about: the act of going out into nature and allowing its vastness to bring you sobriety. I think I experienced this when looking at a star-studded sky and laughed as I was filled with wonder at the sight of it all. Do the same if you can. Take a slow walk and look at the beauty all around you that in a strange way seems to belong to you and at the same time shows you the insignificance of your problems. See the world as it truly is: a speck in the sands of time.
Take in the Universe and experience the joy that can be found without the need for externals. Let nature and its inhabitants heal you rather than damn you. And instead of humanity being a source of pain to you, be bold enough to make it your principle joy.
Sources:
Deida, David. The Way of the Superior Man: Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire. Sounds True, 2017.
Holiday, Ryan. “Stocism’s Cure for Ego and Anxiety”. Youtube, uploaded by Daily Stoic, 19 April 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=183&v=ZyODvHdgqlw&feature=emb_title.
“What is Sympathiea? (And Why It’s So Damn Important)”. dailystoic, 2019, https://dailystoic.com/what-is-sympatheia-and-why-its-important/.
