For your own sake, Don’t Peek at that Perfect Picture
After another day of being single, you decide to check up on your friends and see how they are doing, which really means you’re going to check your social media for like the fifth time today. A couple minutes of scrolling consists of cool outdoor pics mingled with interesting usage of lighting and angling. Most of these are interesting, but they don’t catch your eye, as almost every post is almost perfect. However, there are some that are too perfect. It’s when you pass by the crush, the ex, or the mutual friend who you’re really into on the virtual feed that you can get yourself into trouble. Now, that guy or girl is back in your head, and it’s very difficult to avoid becoming dismayed. Out of sight, out of mind may be an oversimplistic idiom, but for the person trying to find joy in being alone, it is timeless advice. There is nothing more difficult to reconcile than unmet desire with the object of those desires. This results in mental fantasy, daydreaming, and thoughts of the person you cannot have. It might be ok if you actually had a chance of attaining the person of your affections, but oftentimes it stays as a dream.
In an age where the passerby of our day are no longer real flesh and blood, whether that be at the coffee shop, the library, or on the street, but rather countless perfect faces on a screen, the opportunity for discouragement is endless. We are unsure when the next chance to meet someone we like we’ll be; right now, we are relegated to dating apps and nothing much else. Now, in the time of solitude, we have nothing much more than ourselves if we find ourselves single. What will be the result of perusing social media but more misery?
It only takes a peek at a charming figure, a beautiful dress, and an infectious smile to cause you to lose your peace. The problem is not that attraction is bad, but that in the current state of the world it may be impossible to act upon it. There is very little chance for the chance encounter, the shared glance across the room, and the coffee date. A text might work, but for now, the relationship will be mainly virtual. And who’s to say that you’ll be able to make something happen right now? Right now might be the perfect time to build an inner citadel, fortified by strong character, so that when love comes, later on, we’ll be ready.
For now, it is necessary to not inflict ourselves with more pain. Don’t look at that guy or girl’s post, it will only leave you agitated. Rather than being content with your jams, your tv show, and your hobbies while stuck at home, you’ll be thinking about how you don’t have someone to share your time with. Loneliness will be much more difficult to deal with because you will have awakened deep-seated want. Instead, avoid playing with fire so that you may keep your peace. As bad as pedestalization sometimes is in the modern mind, it will become all the worse now since our ideas of other people are left to what’s on a screen and behind a text message. More fantasizing equals more pain, and every time you look at another photo, you drain your energy on something lifeless. Instead of thinking what new hobbies you could be learning, or of new recipes to try, you’ll be saying: “They’re so beautiful” or “I could be with them right now, and I wouldn't feel so down”. Once your mind goes down this road it is very difficult to stop it from talking it useless noise.
Many will lament the inability to find love right now. I admit that sanctioned solitude is difficult, but it’s easier when you stop reminding yourself of what you’re missing out on and enjoy the simple comforts you do have to get you through these tough times. Many live in solitude by choice, and I think it’s only possible if you remove all the opportunities for creating a sense of lack. Social media and photoshop are masterful arts that will deceive you into going down a dark road of sad romantic longing. Finding peace within yourself can be just as easy as creating your own misery is, if you decide to stop swiping your feed so much.
